Jenny Reads 50 Shades of Grey
Did you come here looking for my in-depth sporknalysis of 50 Shades of Grey? Allow me to provide you with handy links to all of it. At the bottom, you will find links to stand-alone posts about 50 Shades of Grey.
Audio recaps courtesy of Beneath The Hat.
JENNY READS 50 SHADES OF GREY:
Chapter 1: Ana is the shittiest friend ever. Audio
Chapter 2: Shopping for a serial killer’s birthday Audio
Chapter 3: Bike accidents get me squirrely in the pants. Audio
Chapter 4: Everybody wants Ana even though she’s terrible Audio
Chapter 5: Ian Sommerhalder, what are you doing?! Audio
Chapter 6: Up, up and away in my beautiful, my beautiful helicopter and sex dungeon Audio
Chapter 7: I wish the whole book was as short as this chapter Audio
Chapter 8: This one time, I fucked a girl so hard she turned into a pirate Audio
Chapter 9: Back like a mysterious rash Audio
Chapter 10: Hot and cold running dick Audio
Chapter 11: Sign here. And here. Initial here. Are you getting hot yet? Audio
Chapter 12: Untitled, full of Wonka Audio
Chapter 13: That one time when Jen started drinking at seven in the morning to get through a recap Audio
Chapter 14: I’m pretty sure I’ve read this book before, but with vampires in it.
Chapter 15: I’m halfway done!
Chapter 16: Shit just got real
Chapter 17: Night of the moth
Chapter 18: “Fifty Shades of Fucked Up”
Chapter 19: Now with 100% more television references
Chapter 20: “Behind the boathouse/I’ll show you my dark secret”
Chapter 21: She’s leaving on a first-class flight to Georgia
Chapter 22: Mrs. Robinson on my mind
Chapter 23: Red dawn
Chapter 24: Hipster Beethoven
Chapter 25: DTF
Chapter 26: I’m a survivor, I did not give up, I did not stop, I’m gonna drink now
JENNY READS 50 SHADES DARKER:
Chapter 1: This totally wasn’t one long fanfic cut into three parts in a desperate money grab.
Chapter 2: Kinky Fuckery
Chapter 3: All hail King Jerkface
Chapter 4: Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson
Chapter 5: Everything is unrealistic, because it’s more dramatic that way.
Chapter 6: Party Poopers
Chapter 7: Nothing says romance like forced birth control
Chapter 8: I won’t participate in the plot and you can’t make me!
Chapter 9: Isn’t that how Natalie Wood died?
Chapter 10: So little conflict, so many words.
Chapter 11: Right makes might
Chapter 12: Piano for Dummies
Chapter 13: My precioussss
Chapter 14: Yes, but what about the Volturi?
Chapter 15: 50 Shades Derper
Chapter 16: A Treatise on Spreader Bars and Human Anatomy, with a Focus on Physics
Chapter 17: The One About The Car
Chapter 18: 50 Shades’s Greatest Hits
Chapter 19: 50’s Greatest Hits Vol. II
Chapter 20: I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger, but she ain’t messin’ with someone who doesn’t have a helicopter or a yacht.
Chapter 21: The shorty skirt catches the worm
Chapter 22: Every episode of Dynasty, ever.
JENNY READS 50 SHADES FREED
Chapter 1: MINE.
Chapter 2: The one where they almost do peeing stuff
Chapter 3: Wherein Jenny uses the fuck word nonstop for thirty pages
Chapter 4: Tickle-me Chedward
Chapter 5: False Tension Blowout! (ft. the most boring car chase of all time)
Chapter 6: In Praise of Vague Anal
Chapter 7: Are you fucking kidding me? Starring Kristen Wiig.
Chapter 8: Guys, you’re going to need a cigarette, for real.
Chapter 9: Fuck this, just fuck all of it.
Chapter 10: Merlin edition
Chapter 11: The chapter where there was nothing funny to say, because it was too fucking sad.
Chapter 12: How’s your Aspen?
Chapter 13: Ana is the only gay in the village.
Chapter 14: My god. My god, there is something correct in this book.
Chapter 15: Take the blue pill, it’s just better that way.
Chapter 16: Blind to Recursion
Chapter 17: Grey’s Anatomy
Chapter 18: It wasn’t called “Jack & Karen, but it should have been.”
Chapter 19: I did not see that coming
Chapter 20: This is definitely not an abusive relationship.
Chapter 21: Lysistrata
Chapter 22: A dumbass walks into a bank
Chapter 23: THE FOG
Chapter 24: How very dare you save my sister’s life!
Chapter 25: My race is almost run
JENNY BLOGS ABOUT 50 SHADES: