Jenny Reads 50 Shades of Grey

Jenny Trout

Did you come here looking for my in-depth sporknalysis of 50 Shades of Grey? Allow me to provide you with handy links to all of it. At the bottom, you will find links to stand-alone posts about 50 Shades of Grey.

Audio recaps courtesy of Beneath The Hat.

JENNY READS 50 SHADES OF GREY:

Chapter 1: Ana is the shittiest friend ever.   Audio
Chapter 2: Shopping for a serial killer’s birthday Audio
Chapter 3: Bike accidents get me squirrely in the pants. Audio
Chapter 4: Everybody wants Ana even though she’s terrible Audio
Chapter 5: Ian Sommerhalder, what are you doing?! Audio
Chapter 6: Up, up and away in my beautiful, my beautiful helicopter and sex dungeon Audio
Chapter 7: I wish the whole book was as short as this chapter Audio
Chapter 8: This one time, I fucked a girl so hard she turned into a pirate Audio
Chapter 9: Back like a mysterious rash Audio
Chapter 10: Hot and cold running dick Audio
Chapter 11: Sign here. And here. Initial here. Are you getting hot yet? Audio
Chapter 12: Untitled, full of Wonka Audio
Chapter 13: That one time when Jen started drinking at seven in the morning to get through a recap Audio
Chapter 14: I’m pretty sure I’ve read this book before, but with vampires in it.
Chapter 15: I’m halfway done!
Chapter 16: Shit just got real
Chapter 17: Night of the moth
Chapter 18: “Fifty Shades of Fucked Up”
Chapter 19: Now with 100% more television references
Chapter 20: “Behind the boathouse/I’ll show you my dark secret”
Chapter 21: She’s leaving on a first-class flight to Georgia
Chapter 22: Mrs. Robinson on my mind
Chapter 23: Red dawn
Chapter 24: Hipster Beethoven
Chapter 25: DTF
Chapter 26: I’m a survivor, I did not give up, I did not stop, I’m gonna drink now

JENNY READS 50 SHADES DARKER:

Chapter 1: This totally wasn’t one long fanfic cut into three parts in a desperate money grab.
Chapter 2: Kinky Fuckery
Chapter 3: All hail King Jerkface
Chapter 4: Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson
Chapter 5: Everything is unrealistic, because it’s more dramatic that way.
Chapter 6: Party Poopers
Chapter 7: Nothing says romance like forced birth control
Chapter 8: I won’t participate in the plot and you can’t make me!
Chapter 9: Isn’t that how Natalie Wood died?
Chapter 10: So little conflict, so many words.
Chapter 11: Right makes might
Chapter 12: Piano for Dummies
Chapter 13: My precioussss
Chapter 14: Yes, but what about the Volturi?
Chapter 15: 50 Shades Derper
Chapter 16: A Treatise on Spreader Bars and Human Anatomy, with a Focus on Physics
Chapter 17: The One About The Car
Chapter 18: 50 Shades’s Greatest Hits
Chapter 19: 50′s Greatest Hits Vol. II
Chapter 20: I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger, but she ain’t messin’ with someone who doesn’t have a helicopter or a yacht.
Chapter 21: The shorty skirt catches the worm
Chapter 22: Every episode of Dynasty, ever.

JENNY READS 50 SHADES FREED

Chapter 1: MINE.
Chapter 2: The one where they almost do peeing stuff
Chapter 3: Wherein Jenny uses the fuck word nonstop for thirty pages
Chapter 4: Tickle-me Chedward
Chapter 5: False Tension Blowout! (ft. the most boring car chase of all time)
Chapter 6: In Praise of Vague Anal
Chapter 7: Are you fucking kidding me? Starring Kristen Wiig.
Chapter 8: Guys, you’re going to need a cigarette, for real.
Chapter 9: Fuck this, just fuck all of it.
Chapter 10: Merlin edition
Chapter 11: The chapter where there was nothing funny to say, because it was too fucking sad.
Chapter 12: How’s your Aspen?
Chapter 13: Ana is the only gay in the village.
Chapter 14: My god. My god, there is something correct in this book.
Chapter 15: Take the blue pill, it’s just better that way.
Chapter 16: Blind to Recursion
Chapter 17: Grey’s Anatomy
Chapter 18: It wasn’t called “Jack & Karen, but it should have been.”
Chapter 19: I did not see that coming
Chapter 20: This is definitely not an abusive relationship.
Chapter 21: Lysistrata
Chapter 22: A dumbass walks into a bank
Chapter 23: THE FOG
Chapter 24: How very dare you save my sister’s life!
Chapter 25: My race is almost run

JENNY BLOGS ABOUT 50 SHADES:

An open letter to 50 Shades of Grey fans and ardent defenders

50 Shades and Abusive relationships

Why BDSM doesn’t need 50 Shades defenders


48 Comments on “Jenny Reads 50 Shades of Grey”

  1. Jess Chapman says:

    Hey Jen, the link to FSF 14 takes us to FSF 13.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Your chapter 14 link for 50 Shades Freed goes to chapter 13.

  3. […] Buchstaben tatsächlich gelesen habe, mich dabei aber auch durch diese absolut göttliche Website gelesen habe, musste ich mir wieder etwas Balsam für die Seele gönnen – seitdem lege ich […]

  4. Anonymous says:

    Hi Jenny! My hubby and I decided to join you in your quest through the “Buffyverse”. So when we hit Angel season1 episode 4, I had to come tell you about it! It’s titled “I fall to pieces”. You’re probably wondering why I’m putting this here but if you watch it I think you’ll get it. The girl in need is Melissa (a much smarter version of Ana) and the dastardly villian is a derange rich neurosugeon who shares many ummmm… “protective” tendencies as our dear Christian. In the first fifteen minutes we find out that Melissa is smarter than Ana because she actually saw Dr. Do-no-good for what he is instead of thinking stalking is the height of romance. So she hires our beloved vamp for help. I think you’ll it as much as we did!!!! Thanks for all you do! ~Cindy

  5. […] long been a fan of Jenny Trout’s recap work.  For some time I’ve thought about pouring some of this love into audiobook form. […]

  6. […] chapter of Jenny Trout’s recap!  Please do follow along with the text to get all the […]

  7. […] it after reading – and ripping on – 50 Shades of Grey. (If you’re unfamiliar with Jenny’s 50 Shades recaps, I highly recommend them. She’s hilarious.) I really enjoyed it: the main character is realistic, […]

  8. […] who are too lazy to read the books (honestly, they’re not worth wasting your life over), here is a link to an awesome series of chapter recaps done by author Jenny Trout, who is both hilarious and witty. […]

  9. […] here to follow along!  And be sure to thank Jenny for making me say Tess of the d’Urbervilles over and over again.  I’m half convinced I […]

  10. […] the news about the casting for Fifty Shades of Grey going around I happened to come across this: Jenny Reads 50 Shades. Basically this author, Jenny Trout, reads and dissects every chapter of the Fifty Shades trilogy […]

  11. […] Friday everyone!  To celebrate, here’s the next chapter of Jenny Trout‘s amazing […]

  12. […] linked from this recap Jenny’s own deconstruction of the offending series. To say that she puts a hilarious spin on the terribleness that is E.L. […]

  13. Megan Hogue says:

    I can’t wait for the last few chapters of “50 Shades Freed” to be posted!!! Reading your chapter by chapter recaps make my day and validate everything I’ve ever said, thought, and felt about this disgusting plague of literary shit to ever befall the human race! Thank you for being awesome!!!

  14. Anonymous says:

    Last chapter pleeeeaaaase!

  15. […] find Fifty Shades of Grey DEEPLY disturbing, to say the least. Partially inspired by this blog, we once spent a solid three or four days talking solely about how much we hate it. Suffice to say, […]

  16. freakycharlie94 says:

    By the way Jenny, Kate did the audio for three more re-caps. You should totally link her ’cause she is so amazing. Your recaps, plus her awesome audio = pure awesomeness

  17. […] bad about it. Abigail Barnette is also known as Jenny_Trout, a funny Tweeter and blogger, whose takedown of 50 Shades of Gray drew me to her. I think I’m reviewing the cliffhanger presentation more than the book […]

  18. […] Reading Jenny Trout’s Fifty Shades of Grey Recaps (warning: extreme grammar snarking […]

  19. […] then I started reading these. (Which I found, by the way, through links to this. And now I’m burning my way through her entire blog and also reading one of her novels on my […]

  20. […] I’ve been reading a lot of deconstructions lately (notably Jenny Trout’s 50 Shades series, but others as well), and they got me thinking.  What is it about fanfic that really […]

  21. […] I find it far more interesting to read the discussions because neither the book holds any interest (especially after reading Jenny Trout’s recaps/teardowns here and especially this link about abusive relationships) nor do either of the lead actors, so […]

  22. Anonymous says:

    Missin’ those recaps :) Almost done! Thanks a bunch for the laughs

  23. […] what i’ve learned from the blogosphere: i was hooked from the first entry i read (thank you, jenny trout, for absconding with many hours of my life and preventing me from doing those things i actually get […]

  24. Sofia says:

    I love you

  25. Dawn says:

    Whenever I read your recaps I can’t help but imagine Christian and Ana to be my boyfriend and I. It’s driving me nuts because I know it’s due to the transparancy of these stupid characters. It just makes the whole thing even more disturbing because I feel involved now. ._.

  26. Denise says:

    I had to stop by and say that I absolutely love your recaps on 50. I need these in my life!

  27. It is about time someone saw the truth in 50 shades

  28. […] mildly snarky about Twilight, 50 Shades or other poorly crafted work (I leave it for other authors and creators to be funnier than I […]

  29. […] The Fantasy and Science Fiction Author Jennifer Armintrout has been recapping the “Fifty Shades”-trilogy at her blog, with the ongoing theme of discussing th abusive relationship the novels have romanticized. The recaps are highly funny and insightful, check all of the recaps here. […]

  30. Neisha Chetty says:

    I don’t believe this is a love story nor is the true ending a happy one. I think there must be a reason why EL James uses symbolic references like Icarus, Tess, The Doomed Courtesan. Why is she referencing tragedy ?

    How can someone like Christian change in such a short space of time ? How can a person change in 26 days (since they met to the time he proposes to Ana) ? Tell me does that sound logical to you ?

    “How can your compulsion just go, Christian? Like I’m some kind of panacea, and you’re—for want of a better word—cured? I don’t get it.”
    He sighs once more. “I wouldn’t say cured . . . You don’t believe me?”
    “I just find it—unbelievable. Which is different.” Fifty Shades of. Grey Darker.
    See what I mean ? Ana doesn’t believe it too !

    There must be something more to it. In fact I believe the BDSM is a distraction for the real issue.

    Here is my theory to explain the absurd timeline and to prove to people it isn’t truly love and Christian’s apparent change (“As we talk. It strikes me that he’s turned from Hardy’s Alec to Angel. debasement to high ideal in such a short space of time”). I had to go down to the subtextual level like I would with any Hardy novel- look at subtextual and intent and read all the clues. Tell me what do you think ?

    Christian’s Pov
    “Are you gay, Mr. Grey ?”
    Shit! that’s going to be in a newspaper. People are going to start questioning, maybe they’ll find out about my lifestyle. Fuck !I don’t want that – it could really tarnish my perfect public image and it would be bad for business. Okay, damage control… Let’s see .. I can’t use any of subs or give them more because they are trained and people would recognise them as belonging to that LIFESTYLE – maybe I’ll use Ana Steele – she doesn’t have one assertive bone in her body- she can be trained as my sub, she’s a virgin, no boyfriend -never had one (press would think we dated all along in secret) and she looks like my crack whore mother- perfect. I will take every photo opportunity to pose with her so the press would know I am not gay. I will give her more … “Have you had to sacrifice your family life for work, Mr Grey” – Fucking great idea, bag yourself a trophy wife and a family say in five months- the world would love the wholesome family man image. Make this trophy wife believe in this illusion( remember the poster on the wall The Matrix, Fight Club, Truman Show). She is an idiot who can’t put two and two together anyway. Strong woman ?!!! What woman needs an assistant to take care of scheduling her own birth control shots ???

    All this is merely Christian’s diabolical plan to conceal his BDSM lifestyle. Ana is just the woman who walked in with the right criteria at the right time to be his fulfil the trophy wife role. This adequately explains the short space of time and his so called change.

    Grey solved … And that’s romantic hero, ladies !!! Christian doesn’t give Ana the space or time to think clearly.

    Trouton Abstract may hold a clue.
    “They are exquisite – a series of mundane, forgotten objects painted in such precise detail they look like photographs. Displayed together, they are breathtaking.”

    Look like photographs – deception -image of something- superficial view (Ana’s)- erotic romance

    But painted – has some real element or truth behind the illusion (Christian’s) – a diabolical plan of deceit.

    Forgotten objects- when we let our desires over rule our jugdement – Icarus- we lose our true selves, our moral core.

    Tess represents – true self.
    Angel – image, idealism. Public self
    Alec – corruption

    Ana – desire
    Christian – corruption of the truth, image and illusion.

    Ana can be easily corrupted because her values are misplaced – her inner Goddess is actually her libido.

    Appearance versus reality.

    Ana should have ran away – like Icarus she was she so overcome by that giddy feeling of desire that she couldn’t see danger ahead. That’s the recklessness of youth – if only she listened. “A strong woman who recklessly throws away her strength, she is worse than a weak woman who has never had any strength to throw away.” Tess of the D’urbervilles – Thomas Hardy

    If you want the tragic factor, look at the history behind Elena, history always repeats itself to Hardy.

  31. […] Jenny Trout became infamous for her take-down of E.L. James’s 50 Shades of Grey (et seq). It was really enlightening to read some of her takes on consent issues in the books, and make me think about things that are important. She talks about this from the perspective of someone in a long-term BDSM relationship. And then she went and wrote (as Abigail Barnette) The Boss, which was serialized in a blog, and The Girlfriend, which was e-book only. Those are parts 1 and 2 of a trilogy. It’s erotic romance and adults only. (I’ve linked to Smashwords, but these are also available through other services, too.) […]

  32. […] nothing consensual about domestic violence, and kink (BDSM) is about giving informed consent. Very few people whether in to BDSM or not  who are reading the book would say that Ana was giving consent […]

  33. Channel says:

    It would have been nice if the real Americans had noticed or even bought or gasp even read 50 Shades. sigh Too late now but you think the brits would have included a little foresight before they make junk like this up about the Americans.

  34. […] in the actual book itself. The recaps I’m referring to are written by author Jenny Trout, and they are freaking brilliant, and have saved me from more than a couple of rage-strokes, as well as around $21 (not including […]

  35. […] incredibly true recount of what life is like with an autistic child, and I’ve also been reading Jenny Reads 50 Shades, even though I’m over a year late jumping on that train (but thanks, Reddit — I owe you for […]

  36. […] I won’t go into my opinions here, but I recently found an absolutely hysterical blog called Jenny Reads 50 Shades of Grey wherein the blog’s author recaps each chapter, and I agree with basically everything she has […]

  37. […] want to express my undying love for Jenny Trout’s 50 Shades Recap, which, at points, had me laughing so hard I hurt myself. She calls it a […]

  38. […] but I won’t. If you wish to find a funny read about this series I recommend this –> here <– blogposts about each and every […]

  39. Anonymous says:

    If your books are even half as funny as this blog, I’m going to have to go out and buy ALL of them. (I’m also totally feeling your depression-be-gone playlist, but that’s neither here nor there.)

  40. […] a tie on the cover, and it’s a, well, I don’t know what the hell to call it, frankly. Jenny Trout has a whole bunch of points about why it shouldn’t be called a romance novel, nor …, so I’ll just link to her site and back away […]

  41. fay says:

    I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY. Ana’s inner godess is really really comparable to the cartoon of Lizzie McGuire. Which is kind of disturbing regarding the pedophile-ish issues in this book. But then again, this book was built on disturbance

  42. Paramora says:

    Anyone who doesn’t believe BDSM can be “lite” too (or is unsafe/abusive) check this out http://www.paramora.com – it’s sexy, smart, and NOT harsh or graphic.

  43. […] This blog. I was laughing so hard I was crying at some points. I gave myself the hiccups from laughing in […]

  44. Hi Jen! I know I’m a bit late to the party, but I just wanted to say how much I love your 50 Shades recaps. Not only are they hilarious, but I’m using some of your criticisms to improve my own writing (I’m writing a contemporary romance novel). I never knew how much ‘info dump’ was in my work before, or how annoying my characters come across as being sometimes! Oh, and I’ve also ordered the first of your Blood Ties books, which I’m very much looking forward to reading. :)


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